🤗 June 2026 - Ministry and Language Prep! 📚

Our work transitions have finally slowed down. I figured this was a good moment to offer some personal reflections and practical updates on life and ministry. It is my intention for these posts to feel more like an honest conversation over coffee, not a polished "ministry progress report." So here is my first attempt.

Kaity and I are both aware we are in a distinctly different season of life. The drastic simplifying of my weekly calendar is evidence of these broader changes. Gone are the multi-colored calendar events splattered across early mornings, days, and evenings. My "many hats" have been traded in for just a couple. My ministry roles and tasks are slower, longer, and more predictable. These shifts coincided with the onset of Summer break and slower days with kids at home.

If I am brutally honest, this change in pace feels "sort of nice," but mostly strange. Internally I feel like I am violating a cultural law of inertia, a pull towards always doing more and managing more chaos. Instead, these months feel like a season of retraction and simplification. We are all clever creatures and we cope with the "overwhelm of life" in infinitely creative ways. These Summer months are making one thing clear: I have long coped by pushing the pedal down harder. Alas, I am slowly submitting to the pace of this season and embracing the constraints we have now chosen.

In the midst of a slower Summer, I see an incredibly full year rising slowly on the horizon. I see both the financial pressures and frequent travel coming. Mapping out this first year of coursework was both exhilarating and daunting. By my initial estimates, I will embark on no fewer than 76 flights in the next year. Many folks live in these weekly work-travel cycles, but it will be a new type of chaos and challenge for us. Beyond the external pressures above I have felt internal pressure in the form of subtle fear. Now this is both ironic and poetic, as I intend this very word to be my primary focus of study for my dissertation. Allow me to try and explain.

I first noticed the hints of fear in my compulsive avoidance of studying latin grammar (during year one I have to pass a language translation exam using a primary source of theological latin from church history). As someone who prides themselves on "hard work" and "getting things done," this was perplexing at first. It actually took me months to properly name the root of what was going on. In my decade of juggling multiple jobs, church ministry, and side hustles I had learned to find confidence in my ability "to do many things." I also now see that this allowed me to escape and avoid my deepest fears—criticism and failure. Having my eggs spread to many baskets allowed me to absorb and weather criticism and failure rather easily.

But now, as I make this vocational shift I feel the sharp edge of those fears. For me there is great vulnerability in giving oneself to something wholly because that insulating layer is gone. In performative actions—public speech, sports, art, music, etc—we are forced to put on display the effort, intentions, and desires that were formerly unseen. My juggling of many things gave me a sort of false strength. Any time there was criticism or failure I could (at least internally) say, "Ah, but look at how much I do!" or "Oh, I barely had time to prepare for that."

So I feel the fear because in this next season I know I will face criticism and failure, while only being able to respond "Well, I have dedicated my whole life to this." As I said, the irony and potential poetic tone of this is not lost on me. Feeling afraid of studying fear. As I grow older and sit with more people, I suspect this same chord of fear is present with all of us. Perhaps, it is just strummed and played in different ways unique to each of our stories and stages of life.

So with that, please pray for me.

Pray that I will study my latin.

Pray that I can embrace and face the fears within.

And pray that the efforts may not be wasted, but that they may help others along the way.

I am grateful for the friendship and support!

☺️ Blessings

Dave

PS. I will post broader updates here under the Updates tab moving forward. If you want to track with some of my reflections and learning you can find my Substack and subscribe to get those posts as well! For those who are curious you can also find an updated budget and job description for my ministry work at the bottom of the stepstool.xyz homepage.

David Swenson | Pastor, Teacher, & Coach

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